Easy
by BellaEdwardlover1991
Summary: Summary: Actress Bella and singer Edward have broken up recently and are now forced to meet up again at an awards show. Is letting go really as easy as they make it seem to be to each other? Drabble.
1. Chapter 1

**Obviously, Twilight isn't mine. These words are.**

**This story is almost completely written, all I have to do is wrap it up. This means it was written before everything happened this week. It's creepy, I know.  
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**As always, I give thanks and a LOT of credit to my pre-readers, Kitkat681 and CullensTwiMistress. I feel like you guys know my writing better than me by now! You guys are my team and always there for me when I'm stuck somewhere. Thanks so much.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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**1.**

_My eyes are closed, breaths coming in pants from your intense kisses. I try to pull away, to breathe so I can come out of this alive but there your fingers are, under my chin, reconnecting my lips to yours. We kiss and kiss until I have to pull away again to breathe. Then we reconnect again and the cycle starts again. The taste of you in my mouth clouds my thoughts, your warm tongue softly massaging mine, one hand on my hip and the other in my neck, your fingers in my hair, softly pulling on it._

_My hands roam your chest. I can feel your muscles through your thin t-shirt. I feel something else that's hard pressing through your jeans against my lower stomach. I long to feel that elsewhere but it's too fast, too much too soon and it's hard to think right now anyway with your mouth on mine._

_After resisting you for so long it's hard to believe this is really happening._


	2. Chapter 2

**What an overwhelming response to this story so far. I tried to reply to all reviews, if I missed yours I'm sorry. Just a reminder, this will only update once a day, generally sometime in my morning (EST).**

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**2.**

"Bella? Bella!"

I sit up, ripped out of my daydreaming, or rather remembering, by my hair stylist, Angela.

"Yeah," I reply, trying to keep my voice even while I'm still emotional. Of course, Angela has known me since high school and knows immediately that something is wrong. Other than that she is also the only person in my life who I confess in, who I trust enough to actually talk to about everything going on in my life.

"Are you okay?" She asks, obviously concerned.

"Yeah," I say again, smiling sadly. "Just… remembering."

"Bella, you have to move forward, not stick to the past. Otherwise you'll never move on from him!"

It's the same thing she's been saying for a while now. I know she's right, but it's _so_ hard to let go. She hasn't been in this position, she wouldn't know.


	3. Chapter 3

**3.**

"_Oh God, baby, you feel so good. Keep going, just like that," You groan while I'm riding you hard, my hands on your shoulders to brace myself. This angle makes me feel really good and it feels even better to have all the power. _

_Who am I kidding? You always have all the power over me. And again you prove it by raising your mouth to my right nipple, sucking softly before pulling slightly with your teeth. You know that's the way to get me going. Your left hand is on my breast, squeezing and massaging. _

_My feelings are absolutely overloaded. Your words and your hands and your mouth make me see starts within minutes. Soon after that you join me in ecstasy. _

_It takes me a while to recover, but when I do you're ready for another round. And this is the way it goes every time we're together._


	4. Chapter 4

**4.**

"Are you sure you want to go tonight?" Angela asks me. I nod, because what choice do I have?

"Yeah. I have to go. It's the Meyer Awards, and I'm a nominee. Of course I have to go, what if I win?" I try to joke, but in reality it's going to be painful.

"Bella, you don't have to go. You can send someone else in your place and have them accept it instead of you. You can always claim a family emergency; you don't have to go yourself." I know she's trying to support me but now she's just getting annoying.

I shake my head at her. "I can't. I have to keep up with my image. I'm the world's most wanted actress right now, I have to deal with everything that comes with it. The paps, the annoying fans, and the people I don't want to deal with," I say, knowing she'll understand the person I'm referring to.


	5. Chapter 5

**5.**

I put on my dress, designed by my other best friend Alice Brandon, one of the world's most famous designers. It's so funny that she, Angela and I have stuck together since high school and that we're all three famous in the areas we ended up in. And those areas happened to collide and now my best friends work together with me almost daily to make me look my best.

I love them so much. I don't know what I would do without them. They're my strongest supporters, always there when I need them – which is a lot – and travel with me everywhere I go. I feel like I'm the luckiest woman in the world having those two.

Once my dress is on, Angela directs me to my chair at my vanity so she can start doing my hair. I close my eyes and try to relax.


	6. Chapter 6

**6.**

_I remember the first time I laid my eyes on you while you were in the band. I was attending your concert, my first concert since I became an actress. I couldn't go out much even then, because I would be recognized by the few people who saw me in the movies I played in. I hadn't had big roles yet, not compared to now, but some people were really… persistent in following me and taking pictures and posting videos. Shortly after a video was published of me dancing in a club once Rose, my manager, and I decided it would be for the best if I didn't go out anymore. _

_But this was something I had to do. I had to see you. And see you, I did. I was right up front, staring at you all night like a lovesick teenager._

_Which, I suppose. I was._

_You never saw me until much later. But I saw you and that was enough._


	7. Chapter 7

**7.**

"Are you ready?" Angela asks me again.

"Nope, but alright," I say, forcing a smile on my face.

Today is the first time I will see him in six weeks. I already know it will be so hard to face him, to see his handsome face and hear his voice that has said dirty things in my ear and that said comforting words over and over again when my father had a stroke. It will be the hardest thing I'll ever do, but I have to. I can't not go to this awards show, it's one of the most important ones so even though I know he will be there, I can't avoid it.

And secretly I don't want to. Secretly I really want you back, feel those arms around me again, feel those lips on mine, and feel that hard, muscled body curl up against mine.

But I can't. It was my choice. And I just have to face the consequences.

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**Pssst... I'm excited about writing The Other Point Of View :) It's going pretty well! **


	8. Chapter 8

**8.**

"Hey Edward, are you okay man?" My bodyguard, Emmett, asks me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah," I say, smiling. I know it's the same fake smile I've had on my face for the past six weeks, ever since Bella walked away from me. But I can't show anyone how hard it is for me to move on from her. I love her so completely, and she's making it so hard for me to let go. I know it's normal to feel that way for the first while but I really should be dating someone else now. I'm one of the most wanted men in the world.

And I only want her.

Then the limo arrives at the red carpet. Trying to calm down by slowly breathing in and out, I exit the car to greet all the blinding flashes of the photographers waiting for stars to arrive.


	9. Chapter 9

**9.**

The red carpet is uneventful, or so it seems to be until a certain white limousine arrives with the person who holds my heart. With a last smile towards the photographers and a quick handshake with some of the screaming girls I hurry inside.

I'm not ready to see her yet.

Or maybe I just want to see her so bad I better not go through that in front of so many cameras.

Whatever.

I make my way to the bar, ordering a drink. I know I need one badly to survive this night, yet I don't want to get drunk. I want to remember and memorize all about _her_. Emmett slaps my shoulder for support before going off to wherever security goes when famous people are waiting for their possible awards.

I'm alone now.

And there she is.


	10. Chapter 10

**10.**

"_Oh," I moan and whimper. I'm reduced to nothing but animalistic sounds. You keep pounding into me, hitting that spot you know so well. No one but you has ever been able to hit it, and although I never come from that alone it makes it so easy to be lost in pleasure._

"_Bella, oh, ungh," are the replies I get. It seems like you're the same way right now, lost in our basic desires. _

_My nails are digging into your back when your mouth ends up at my neck. Our bodies are sweaty and slippery from many hours of pleasure. I'm tired and I know you must be too but we can't seem to stop._

_We use what little time we have together, and we use it well. With the thoughts of our previous – hotter than hot – encounters in the back of my mind I moan loudly as I come hard. A couple of hard, fast thrusts later you come with a groan in my ear_

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**__Apologies for the lack of review replies of last chapter, I wasn't home for most of the day and had too many things to do when I got home.**


	11. Chapter 11

**11.**

I catch a glimpse of Edward right before he goes inside. It looks like he saw my arrival and got out of my way as fast as he could.

Although it hurts, I understand. If I were him I wouldn't want to see me either. Not after the way I hurt him. And I hurt him in the worst way possible.

As I walk on the red carpet, people around me are screaming questions at me, about my plans for the future, if I expect to win an award and of course about my love life. Some of those questions are about the last six weeks. I already know I am not going to answer any of the questions – Rosalie, my manager, advised me not to – so I just smile, let my picture be taken and then go inside.

I can't help it but I have to look around the room real quick to see where he is. After I see him, I go in the opposite direction. Perhaps there is a chance I can simply avoid him all night.


	12. Chapter 12

**12.**

I see her enter the room. Her dress is a beautiful dark blue, my favorite color on her. Her dark brown hair is pulled back in some kind of up do, framing her face and exposing her beautiful neck.

It is my favorite look on her, and she knows it. I wonder if she's doing this on purpose, hurting me even more knowing I can't have her anymore.

The thought of what she's done enters and I try to shake it off. Although I know she never cheated on me – I just don't believe it – I can't help but feel hurt that she's pretending she did just to get rid of me.

Sure makes a guy wonder what he's done wrong.

I shake the thoughts off again and finish my drink before heading to my seat, meeting up with my fellow band members and shaking fists and laughing and keeping up an appearance.


	13. Chapter 13

**13.**

It's hard, but I manage to resist looking at him. I know where the musicians are seated though, and as if it's a natural instinct my hearing almost zooms in to that area. When I hear his laughter, I almost smile before I remember that laughter has nothing to do with me anymore. I have no reason to be delighted to hear his laughter. I have no reason to even think about him.

He's not mine anymore. And that is my fault and my fault only.

As the awards show starts I remind myself of all the reasons, and as Edward and his band get called on stage to take their award I feel all those reasons being reinforced.

I clap as loud as everyone else but I refuse to look at him while he and the band give their acceptance speech. Hearing his voice sends shivers down my spine, my memory flashing to all the times we talked on either the phone or in person.

I almost feel like I can't handle it. But I keep on my fake smile and try to look happy.


	14. Chapter 14

**14.**

It comes as no surprise to me that she wins more than one award. Best Actress in three different movies, Best Cast with the rest of the group from one of her movies, and a couple of others that I don't pay attention to anymore.

I keep having an excuse to stare at her, and I can't help but love it. She looks so beautiful, and I wish I could be there for her right now, have her in my arms to kiss and hug her, and congratulate her on her wins and the recognition for her talents.

But I can't. Because she pushed me away.

I keep a neutral face for most of the show, laughing with my friends every now and then to keep up appearances.

As long as my heartbreak doesn't show on my face, I'll be fine.


	15. Chapter 15

**15.**

_I remember the first time I saw you. It was your second movie and I couldn't help but think you were very talented. I can't say that I fell for you immediately, but I was interested and thought you were very beautiful. In the swimming pool scene I stared at your body, admiring your long legs and reasonably sized rack._

_Emmett joked to me that we could be a power couple, but for some reason that thought didn't appeal to me at all at the time. I didn't want to date someone just because it would be good for my career. I wanted to date someone for love, not anything else._

_Little did I know._


	16. Chapter 16

**16.**

I talk and laugh and flirt with all the important people. I give three interviews and have pictures taken. All of these things take my mind off Edward, if only for a little while. Spread out over the evening I catch glimpses of him, talking with other women and obviously flirting with them.

I can't help but feel hurt and a little bit jealous. Not long ago I was the only one who held his attention. But then again, I am flirting with other people myself. One especially hot, tall guy with a Native American skin color holds my attention for a while longer than any of the others. If I wasn't still in love with Edward I would've given him a fair chance. Instead, when he asks me out for dinner I have to tell him that I am not up for that. Disappointment shows on his face but only briefly before conversation starts again.

But it's not the same. Because it's not _him_.


	17. Chapter 17

**17.**

I feel her eyes on me several times at the after party. I am so sensitive to everything about her. Even though I never look at her directly, I know about every single man that talks to her tonight. That's why I notice that the tall native guy has captured her attention. I feel sick to my stomach at just the thought of that being her next… boyfriend. Can she really move on that quickly?

I know I have no right to feel jealous or anything, I am flirting with all the beautiful women present tonight, but it is my duty to do so because it increases sales of merchandise and concert tickets. Bella just has to play a movie and everyone loves her. It's not the same for me.

_But does she know that? _A little voice in my head whispers. _Are you sure you're not spoiling any chance of getting her back right now?_

I ignore the voice, smile and keep on selling myself and my band.


	18. Chapter 18

**18.**

_"So you're dating him?" Angela asks me._

_I shake my head. "Not really. We just… meet up whenever we can."_

_"But he never asked you to be exclusive?"_

_I think back. "Not directly, no. He sort of implied it, but never flat out asked me."_

_"So you're not his girlfriend or anything?"_

_I hate the feeling of disappointment I feel. I knew ahead of time that everything will be about his career – and mine – and that being together is almost impossible. But the time we do spend together is fantastic._

_"No, but I'm taking what I can get. Every minute I get to spend with him is everything to me. He's not just the handsome lead singer of my favorite band; he is also smart and has dreams and goals in his life, and interests similar to mine."_

_"You mean you both like to fuck like bunnies," Angela laughs._

_I feel my face flush. "Well, we do that too but not all the time."_

_"So what's he like in bed?"_

_"Angela!" I laugh, pushing her playfully._


	19. Chapter 19

**19.**

I manage to find my way to the table that holds all the drinks. Out of the corner of my eye I see Bella head this way too. When she spots me, she freezes for half a second before heading into a different direction.

I wish things weren't this awkward. I wish I could go to her and smack her and kiss her and hug her and tell her that I forgive her for hurting me. And I do. I just want her back.

I fight back my emotions, knowing I have to stay as neutral as possible so I won't tip off any paps that are likely around, hidden in the crowd just waiting for something to happen. I want to avoid having more stuff written about Bella and me, we're over now so I want to hear nothing about it anymore.

I keep telling myself that, hoping that soon I'll believe my own words.

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**You'll like what's coming ;-) I am in no way near done with writing my 2 other projects, but I might just start updating 2 a day of this anyway. I like that a lot better.**


	20. Chapter 20

**20.**

Seeing Edward at the drinks table took my breath away. I was lucky to be careful, managing to get away from him as fast and far as possible. I prefer to be thirsty over being that close to him.

I wander around a little, chat with some people here and there. The drinks I've had so far are helping me relax more. Unfortunately this also means I start paying less attention, something I end up paying for about twenty minutes later.

I am walking through corridors, looking at the paintings I've seen and haven't seen when I see a very familiar figure stand in the middle of the hallway I just turned into. When he looks up, I know it's too late. Other people have seen the two of us too and know some of what happened. I am willing to bet that they're waiting for awkwardness to gossip about, so I take a deep breath and get ready to show them that there's nothing for them to gossip about at all.


	21. Chapter 21

**21.**

I see her as soon as she rounds the corner. My breath catches at her beauty. _Oh, how I wish she was still mine._ I see her freeze for half a second, then look around before walking over to me.

_Oh, shit!_ My heart starts pounding in my chest, my palms are sweaty and I have trouble breathing while her heels are still clicking down the hall way, getting louder and louder.

Then she's right in front of me, her eyes full of nerves and hesitation. I hold out my arm without saying anything, inviting her to take a walk with me.

"Hi." She almost whispers.

I put a smile on my face, as hard as it is. "Hi. How are you doing?"

She smiles back. "Doing alright. How about you?"

"Doing fine."

Awkwardness fills the air. This is not as easy as I'd like it to be.


	22. Chapter 22

**22.**

"So, what have you been doing these… past few weeks?" Edward asks me, not looking at me. His voice is not how I remember it. It is not filled with passion, or love, or excitement. It's almost dull.

_Thinking of you. _"I've been busy. You know," I try to smile at him. "I signed two new contracts for new movies that will start filming at the end of the year. How about you?"

"We're working on a new album," He answers. "So we've been writing a lot lately. You know how it gets." I nod, remembering from our conversations _exactly_ how it gets.

Talking about our careers is safe. It's not talking about my feelings. It's not talking about _us_ and what could have been.

When we turn the corner, there are some people there –mostly women- that immediately start talking to Edward. He wouldn't be the man I love if he wouldn't answer them politely.

I take a couple of steps back. Edward turns around and locks eyes with me. I smile at him and give a tiny wave before hightailing out of there.

There's no way he's going to see my tears.

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**You guys better feel lucky, this was supposed to be the next drabble but I switched them around. Other than that, I'm going camping this weekend so there will be no update Friday evening - Sunday Morning. If everything goes as expected I will update again Sunday evening. Just a head's up :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**23.**

_"Edward!" I hiss at him. "We're in public! Remove those hands!"_

_"I don't know what you're talking about," the cheeky bastard replies, his fingers still rubbing me through my panties._

_I grab his hands and push them away, a part of me immediately mourning the feeling._

_"The last thing we can use right now is attention," I tell him. "Do you really want the tabloids to be all over that? 'Edward Cullen arrested for inappropriate behavior with upcoming actress Bella Swan.' I can see it happening! So stop it!" I am getting really annoyed when his hand returns to my thigh, just rubbing gently._

_"I just like to touch you," he shrugs as if it's nothing. _

_"Well, you'll just have to wait until we get home." I glare at him in the dark, the only light coming from the movie we're supposed to be watching._

_He waits, but barely. As soon as we're inside the house – by some miracle no one saw us - he kicks the door close and pushes me against the wall right next to it, my panties ripped from my body while his mouth attacks mine. Soon we're pushing against each other, pleasure ripping through us, our moans and groans and sighs filling my apartment. _


	24. Chapter 24

**24.**

_SHIT!_ I keep a smile on my face for these people while they ask me questions and I make sure to answer them as well as possible. But all I can think about is Bella.

We finally talked again. And it was awkward as hell. After two years of knowing her I really thought we would be able to talk easier than that, even shortly after our breakup. After all, we were friends first. Not that that lasted long, but we were friends first nonetheless.

Finally I politely tell my fans that I have to talk to other people, and they go away. I go look for Bella again, happy to hear her voice, even if it´s awkward and simple polite talk.

But Bella is gone. I look all over the place but she´s nowhere to be found.

_Damn it._

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**But is she really gone? :) **

**Apologies for the lack of 2 updates yesterday, life is kind of a mess right now. I hope you understand.**


	25. Chapter 25

**25.**

I feel like I can't breathe, but seeing him was doing more to me than I wanted it to. He still is as beautiful as I know him to be.

I have no idea where I am in this big building, but I am away from people, away from the crowd so I can finally be myself and break down a little.

Not too much, of course. I wouldn't want my make up to get ruined.

I keep my tears inside but am almost sobbing, panting and whimpering. It hurts so much. I miss him so much, the arms around me, his voice in my ear, his body against mine, everything about him.

Coming here was a mistake. But seeing him, even with the pain, is worth any kind of discomfort.

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**Last update until Sunday evening :) Hope you all have a good weekend!**


	26. Chapter 26

**26.**

Shortly after my breakdown I head back to the crowds, hoping that Edward is either occupied or has left. I have kind of had enough of a dose of Edward. I almost consider myself lucky when I don't see him, but something tells me I'm not out of trouble yet.

And I'm right. I know exactly who I have behind me when I feel someone grab my hand. I don't look, I just follow until I'm pulled into an empty room.

I would recognize the hand anywhere, or the scent surrounding him, or the rhythm of his breathing. I used to listen to his breathing for hours with my ear on his chest, smelling him while his hand was resting on my shoulder.

I do wonder why we need to be alone for any reason.

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**Couldn't log in for some reason last night, so here's an update :) **


	27. Chapter 27

**27.**

_We only have a couple of minutes before I have to return to my photo shoot. You have me pressed against the wall, kissing my lips, my neck, everything while your hips move against me. You have me moaning softly while your hands roam my body like it's the last time you'll ever touch me._

_In a way, it is. You're leaving for your European tour tonight and won't be back for two months. So when you pull my panties aside and slide into me I feel happy we get to do this one last time before you head to the airport._

_Moans, pants and skin moving against each other is all my senses register. Pleasure floods through me as we both reach our climax. _

_You hold onto me for a little while. When you let me down, you wipe away some tears that landed on my cheek._

_"I'll miss you." You whisper the words._

_"I'll miss you too, so much" I whisper back, trying to smile at you but failing horribly._


	28. Chapter 28

**28.**

The door is barely closed behind me when I am pressed against it, lips crashing against mine with hands roaming all over my body, wherever he can reach.

I have to fight the urge to kiss him back. Kissing him back would be giving him a sign that I want him, and I can't do that. I do want him, so badly, but we need to be apart, not making out or worse, more.

However, with the way he is kissing me he is making it almost impossible for me not to respond. Finally, he notices my lack of response and he steps back.

The look of hurt on his face breaks my heart all over again.


	29. Chapter 29

**29.**

Not feeling her respond hurts me more than I can ever put in words. I thought if I kissed her she'd let go of whatever is holding her back from getting back with me, to let go of whatever has made her push me away.

Apparently not.

And I want to know why.

"Why aren't you kissing me back?" I ask her.

"We're not together anymore," She shoots back. "You have no right to kiss me."

"Don't tell me you don't want me to," I challenge her. "I've seen you look at me all night."

She has the decency to look away, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks. "That's just a force of habit. That's all."

"I don't think so," I tell her. "I think you're still very much attracted to me and you'd love to do me."

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**Apologies for the lack of review replies. RL is more than a little crazy at the moment.**


	30. Chapter 30

**30.**

I see her eyes glaze over with whatever thoughts my words put in her head. Then they clear back up and a sexy smirk appears on her face.

"And what if I do?" Her voice is suddenly husky, a good sign that she's turned on.

"Then I'll just have to fulfill that wish," I whisper as I'm closing in on her.

"But we can't," She moans.

"Why not? Just this one time. No strings attached. See it as a goodbye of sorts." I want this. I want this more than I ever wanted anything before, except for her.

I always want her. I don't think I'll ever stop wanting her.

Surely she knows this?

"I – I can't…" She trails off. A moan escapes her as I begin kissing her neck, my hand trailing up her thigh.

"Say stop and I will," I whisper. It takes a minute for her to respond. I don't move, my hand still on her thigh until I hear it, although barely.

"Don't stop."


	31. Chapter 31

**31.**

I give in.

His whole body is pressed against me, from the hard lines on his chest to his very hard cock in his pants. And I miss it. I miss the feeling of his body sliding against mine, his breath on my skin and kisses on my lips.

And like he said, this could be a goodbye of sorts. I intend to make most of it.

And so does Edward, it seems as he's kissing me like I'm water in the middle of a desert, his hands touching and rubbing and squeezing and simply _moving_ across my body. At one point his hands lift me up and then let go and I'm being held up by the rest of his body pressing me against a wall.

We move fast, oh so fast. Although we're in private now, we'll be missed soon. We don't have a lot of time.

As he pushes into me, we both groan loudly.

Oh I missed this feeling.


	32. Chapter 32

**32.**

We're fast and quick and rough. Her nails draw blood on my skin while my mouth leaves marks on the underside of her tits. She'll probably have bruises around her hips tomorrow.

I don't regret one bit of it.

I want her to remember who did it, and what she's missing out on by not being with me. Although I can only guess at her reasons for pushing me away, I want her back more than knowing the reasons behind it all. I want her in my life forever, and right now she's not letting me.

Maybe this helps.

If not, I have a couple of other plans.

I'm not giving up, and I sure as hell won't let her give up on us either. And whatever reason made her push me away – I will _never_ believe she cheated on me because she is simply not that kind of person – we can work it out and be together anyway.


	33. Chapter 33

**33.**

He's not even done putting body parts back in his pants when I run out of the room, to the nearest bathroom. I get lucky and find a one-person bathroom that locks the outside door. I also don't run into anyone.

I need a moment. Or two. Or two hundred.

I wonder what I've just done. Did I just ruin everything? Thoughts speed through my mind faster than I can handle them. I know I have to get out of here as soon as I can, but I can't leave this room without fixing my appearance.

After straightening my dress, fixing my hair and makeup and taking another couple of minutes to calm down, I exit the bathroom and try to act as if I'm calm and everything is normal.

But it's not.

My world has been turned upside down once again by Edward Cullen.


	34. Chapter 34

**34.**

I manage to slip out undetected by anyone. I hope Bella won't have any problems either. If the tabloids find out what she looked like when she left the room I dragged her into, they'll drag her through mud.

I don't want that for her. Which is why I was going to suggest I leave first, and then she'd wait for a while and come out later so no one would know we'd been together during the time we both disappeared.

I didn't even get a chance to say any word to her.

I'm so disappointed.

There was so much left to say. Now I'm not sure if I'll ever get the chance.

I sure screwed up my act though. I doubt she'll believe now that I moved on from her.

But then again, if I want her back it's better if she doesn't think I moved on from her. I just hope I don't look like a pathetic loser.

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**She can't run away from him forever though... :) **


	35. Chapter 35

**35.**

It's about a week after the awards show and I still haven't recovered from what happened. Everything I thought I knew and wanted was proven wrong to me – again. So I did what I do best and ran away.

Right now I'm sitting in a corner at the diner in my hometown. I decided to visit my parents to spend some time with them. With a gap of two more weeks in my schedule – I guess Rose, my manager, has decided to give me some time off – I wanted to find something to do that is safe and will not attract much attention from the paparazzi.

Visiting my parents is as safe as it gets.

Or so I think as I see a familiar face enter the diner.


	36. Chapter 36

**36.**

_"We never really do anything but have sex," I complain after one of our fantastic rounds. "Not that I mind too much," I giggle. "But I feel like I'm not really getting to know you this way."_

_"Well…I guess I see your point," Edward concedes._

_"We've been doing this for almost three months," I tell him. "But I still don't know that much about you. I know a lot about your body, but not your mind. And I think your mind could be very interesting too."_

_It earns me a smile, a genuine one that I don't see much. I know he's stressed out a lot with because of touring and fans and general pressure. _

_From then on, we make it a point to sit down and talk for at least two hours every time we meet up. I learn a lot about the enigma that is Edward Cullen. I enjoy getting to know his mind even more than his body._

* * *

**__If I get the chance, I'll update twice more today. But weekends I'm generally not home, so I can't even promise a second update. Apologies in advance :)**


	37. Chapter 37

**37.**

I know I'm hidden pretty well and my hat and sunglasses should help hide my identity, which is good because it gives me the opportunity to stare at him without getting caught.

Anyone but me would probably look right past him. With his signature brown-red-blonde kind of hair he is very recognizable, but once that's hidden underneath a hat people generally don't recognize him at all.

Except that I do and always will.

Other than that, he is wearing one of the t-shirts I bought for him, one that I love on him because it fits him perfectly and the color brings out his eyes.

I see him order a coffee. While he's waiting for his change he glances in my direction. If I wasn't watching so intently I would've missed the sudden tension in his stance.

But I don't.

I also don't miss that he's walking this way.

Shit.


	38. Chapter 38

**38.**

For a moment, panic floods my body and brain. Then I regain composure. No one is allowed to see my inner turmoil.

_You can do this_. I have to repeat it to myself three more times before he walks over and sits down in the chair across from me.

"Fancy seeing you here, Bella," Edward jokes.

I raise my eyebrows. "Did you follow me here?"

"No," he answers. "It appears as though we simply shared the same idea. I assume you are here for your parents?" The last part comes out as a question.

"Yes," I say. I decide to go for honesty. "I needed to get away from being a famous actress and go back to being Bella Swan."

"I see." He smiles at me. "I am glad to see you. I wanted to talk to you, you know… After…" He doesn't finish. I see a light pink color appear on his cheeks.

_He is blushing!_ I want to giggle and scream like the fan girl I used to be, a long time ago. Instead, I keep silent until I can figure out my opinion on this.

"To be honest, I am not interested in anything you have to say." The words cut through me. It's such an obvious lie even Edward must notice it. I continue anyway. "You were clear on what that one time was, and I accepted it only for that reason. There is no reason at all for us to have any contact at all."


	39. Chapter 39

**39.**

There is silence for a full three minutes before he replies.

"I disagree on that."

"Well, I don't."

"Just because you walked away from me, doesn't mean I have to let you go. I'm willing to fight for you. You gave up on something that is the best thing that ever happened to either of us. I'm not willing to do the same thing. I don't want to let go."

I can hardly hold back my tears when I head those words. Two months ago I would've given up everything to hear those words. Now, I can't stand to hear them anymore. Not when once I longed to hear those words.

"What if I don't want you to fight for me?" I say.

"I call bullshit," he snaps. "I know want me in your life. I've seen it for a very long time. We might have never said the words but we showed it to each other." He sighs and suddenly looks decades older.

"What changed?" His voice sounds broken now.

I can't tell him. I can't.


	40. Chapter 40

**40.**

The moment she speaks I know she is lying to me again.

"I simply found another adventure. Like the pictures showed, I found the opposite of you and it worked pretty well for me."

"Then where is he now? Where was he at the show? And why haven't I seen him with you before or after the pictures were taken? Because you're lying, that's why." I snap, really angry at her for lying to my face.

She shrugs, not confirming or denying anything. "It was a short adventure. I moved on from that too."

Bingo. "Then why not move back to me?"

"Because I don't want to. Because I moved on from you. Because of many reasons that I am under no obligation to share with you."

I shake my head. She really intends to make this as hard as possible for both of us.

But I won't give up.

* * *

**Like I said, freaky. This was written about 2 weeks before the actual incident.**


	41. Chapter 41

**41.**

_The very first time I saw you I was a little girl. My mother keeps telling me the story of how I know Edward Cullen to everyone she meets._

_Little does she know. I know you better than anyone now._

_But the first time I saw you it was from a far distance. And I was too shy to walk up to the pretty boy that was new to our school._

_Living in a small town means you automatically meet everyone who's not an adult. Although I never really 'met' you, I knew who you were and while playing at the playgrounds around the school I was often watching you._

_Then you and your parents disappeared, and I almost forgot about you._

_Almost._

_Until that first concert._


	42. Chapter 42

**To answer your questions, no. Edward never knew Bella. He'd seen her sometimes but never knew who she was. The first time he actually saw her and knew her name was her movie, as described in his memory piece.**

* * *

**42.**

Seeing him shake his head makes me angry.

"Who are you to tell me how I feel?"

"I don't," he counters immediately. "I simply know you well enough when you're lying. But it's alright. I guess I'll leave you be. For now." A smirk appears. "I'll get you back eventually."

With that, he walks away.

I stare at his retreating form, both heartbroken and surprised.

And a little part of me is insanely happy, but I try my best to suppress that.

I can't get back with him, no matter how much I want to. I know this is all for the best. I'll get over it and one day I know he will too. All he has to do is let me go.


	43. Chapter 43

**43.**

A few weeks pass before I see him again.

"Fancy seeing you here," he whispers in my ear.

We're at the Hollywood film studios, where I just now find out he's filming one of his music videos while I'm filming my current movie here at pre-made sets.

And I happen to run into him right before I have to do a sex scene.

Awesome.

"Hi," I reply, keeping my tone cool but polite.

"You're not going to talk to me at all?" His voice is teasing but I sense he's a little hurt.

"I am mentally preparing for a sex scene, I don't like distractions," I answer.

"How about me preparing your body for it too? Hey, maybe we can do our own sex scene afterwards!" He says playfully.

I roll my eyes to tell him he's being ridiculous, but I can't deny my body's response.

Sex scenes with my current co-worker do get me hot and bothered. That's what I get with a very hot, nicely built actor on top of me, making thrusting moves against me.

Maybe I should take his offer.

_NO!_ I tell myself firmly. I am not having sex with Edward Cullen again. The last time was a goodbye, and that was it.

"I'll be back later. Think about my offer." I look at him to try and see if he has any special motives, but he looks to be completely honest.

_Edward wants to have sex with me again. And I'll be horny after this scene. Shit._

* * *

**This might look weird, but there's a reason behind it all :)**


	44. Chapter 44

**44.**

"Now move your head towards her neck… Yes, that's it…" The director's instructions should make this whole thing really awkward, but there's hardly anyone on set and there is a hot guy on top of me, kissing me senseless.

I lose myself in the scene so I can make this as natural as possible. Having worked with my fellow actor before, I know he does the same. So in a way, he's kissing _me_, not my character. Good thing we're friends and know that we're attracted to each other.

He's also the only one who knows everything.

"Jake, a little less intense please," the director calls out while Jake's lips are around a nipple. I hardly hear him, being in the zone so much.

According to the script, he is supposed to kiss my stomach and pretend to go down on me while I am half uncovered and 'lost in pleasure'.

Jake moves underneath the sheet, making me almost sigh in relief. The real pleasure he's been giving me is over now, all that is left is the pretend part. Here, I can let my mind wander to times where Edward went down on me while Jake moves awkwardly underneath the sheets, simulating the head movements.

Thank god this is over very soon.


	45. Chapter 45

**45.**

I find my robe as quickly as I can and cover myself up so I can head to my dressing room without showing a lot of men outside of our crew what my chest looks like. And the flesh colored panties show off a little bit too much too.

I enter my dressing room with every intention of getting myself off so I don't have to take Edward up to his offer.

But there he is.

"Get out," I say firmly, even though everything in me is telling me to go to him and let him do what he wants because I miss him and want him and _love_ him.

But my brain is the smartest one here.

"Why?" _Of course_ he has to ask.

"Because I can take care of myself," I say. His eyes widen for a second before he shakes his head, probably to clear it.

"I can take care of you better."

_I know._


	46. Chapter 46

**46.**

I hate this. I miss what we were before.

I look at her and see her arousal, her chest flushed and her breathing faster than normal. And she's squirming a little.

But I won't force her. I won't do anything if she really means no.

I walk up to her, causing her to back herself up against the wall next to the door. I put my hands on the wall so she can't escape.

She has to hear what I have to say.

"I love you," I whisper.

Before she can respond, I'm out the door.

* * *

**Double update right now because so many people are still following this while my updating is lacking.**


	47. Chapter 47

**47.**

_"I love you."_

I stand there for what seems like hours, staring at nothing.

He's said the words.

He never said them before.

I feel hurt and disappointed. I feel angry and frustrated. I feel lost.

I feel happy.

A small part of me realizes that maybe I was wrong.

But the rest of me suppresses that. I wasn't wrong.

_He loves me._

I know Edward and I know he wouldn't lie about such thing. He wouldn't say it to get me into bed. If he did he would've told me the words a long time ago. But he never did, until now.

A knock on my door signals that my break is over and I need to get ready for my next scene.

Work goes on. They don't know life as I know it isn't the same anymore.

All because Edward _loves_ me.


	48. Chapter 48

**As the people who have me either on author's alert or on facebook already know, my laptop is dead. I lost what I have written of The Other Point Of View and everything else on there. I'm now completely dependent on the hubs and his laptop so updates will be random, and there might be days there won't be one. But I'll do my best! In the mean time I have another new (short) drabble that I wrote in one day to hold you over, called Letters of a Killer.**

* * *

**48.**

_I love you…_

_I never say the words out loud, because I think it'll freak you out. You've never said the words to me either, you haven't even hinted at it so I'll just keep my feelings inside._

_Sometimes it hurts to keep the words back. But we never fully committed to each other. You've never asked me to be your girlfriend. We've never gone out in public, on a date. We've been spotted together and there have been many speculations about us being together, but we've never confirmed it and it's never been true._

_Yeah, we're together at every spare moment we get. And I am in love with you. But I don't think you feel the same way. I don't think you ever will. And in a way, I'm okay with that. Because I still get that your image and your single status is what pays your bills and fills your bank account._

_Of course, in the end that was our downfall._


	49. Chapter 49

49.

It isn't until a few weeks later that we meet again. It's an accident, but I am happy to see her again. We're at some kind of TV station – I forgot which one, I see too many of them – and there she is.

When I approach her I notice her different attitude towards me. Instead of being distant and almost angry, all I see is sadness.

I wonder what happened.

"Hey," I say carefully.

"Hi," she replies. Her tone and body language only show sadness.

I step closer, wanting to give her a hug. Surprisingly, she lets me.

She lets me!

I wrap my arms around her really tight, my nose in her hair just inhaling her scent.

This is what happiness feels like.

I feel her push her nose against me, inhaling too and I can't help but smile.


	50. Chapter 50

**50.**

I see him approach me, almost weary of how I'll respond. But after his words and everything that happened, I can't help but feel sad.

For these past weeks, his words have played in my mind over and over and over again. Overwhelmed is the only way to describe all the feelings I feel.

And most of all, the love I've tried to fight has come back full force, perhaps even stronger than ever.

It wasn't as easy to get rid of him and my feelings as I thought.

He greets me, but I barely hear him. All I want to do is cry for what I destroyed. When he wraps his arms around me, hope flares up in me. Maybe it's not too late for us after all.

I inhale and relax, never wanting to let go of this feeling.


	51. Chapter 51

**51.**

"I think we should talk later," I tell her. Soon it´s time for me to go on some show.

She nods and smiles, which turns into a grin after I give her a quick kiss on the cheek. Her skin feels warm and familiar under my lips. I wish I could kiss her lips but I know beforehand that will be too much. We're not back there yet.

I smile and answer questions as some talk show host tries to fill up their show with talking and useless questions that everyone already knows the answer to. She tries to ask about Bella but I avoid answering any questions about that.

I know around the same time Bella is doing the same thing. I wonder if her thoughts are as occupied with me as mine are with her.

I can't wait until we have our talk. Maybe I can finally find out what went wrong between Bella and me.


	52. Chapter 52

**52.**

When I walk out of the studio Edward is there waiting for me. He smiles and holds out his hand, which I take. The smile that appears on his face makes my heart beat faster.

I know it's time to talk. And although I don't want to, I have no choice anymore. Knowing that Edward loves me has changed everything. Knowing that I love him too will get us through pretty much everything.

Starting with the talk we need to have.

We decide to go separately to the hotel both Edward and I are staying at. That way the paparazzi that will be there lurking around in the bushes won't start speculating about things that aren't there.

Of course, if they'd speculate about us being together in the hotel, they'd be right. But no one but Edward and I would know that.

I open the door to my suite, smiling at Edward who is waiting inside. I gave him a key card earlier so he could get in without anyone knowing.

We learned to be sneaky a long time ago. This time, however, we're together in a hotel room for other reasons.


	53. Chapter 53

**53.**

_I try to be quiet as I sneak out of Edward's Hotel room. This time we're in some big city, and I happened to have an event here while Edward has a big concert here tomorrow. We made sure to meet up and do whatever we do best: fuck and satisfy each other's cravings._

_No one but us knows, still. Angela has asked me a couple of times why I'm acting funny. I still haven't told her and I'm not planning to._

_I tiptoe past some hotel rooms, most doors closed. Except for the last one._

_I hear the voices and they are very familiar._

_"I don't know why they think they're hiding their fucking around," says one._

_"I don't know either but I sure as fuck don't like it." Voice number two belongs to Kate, Edward's manager._

_"Why not, Kate? He's happier than I've seen him in a long time. For a while I actually thought he was gay," says Kate's girlfriend, Maggie._

_"Sooner or later they'll get caught, and his image will be ruined. His whole image is him being the single guy. Every woman out there, whether they are going to his concerts or they're just buying merchandise, believes they might just have a chance with him. His single status is what fills up his bank account, and ours. If that gets ruined, you better count on his whole career being ruined."_

_"Aren't you a little pessimistic?" Maggie replies._

_"No. I'm realistic. It's what will happen. I just need to figure out what to do to separate them."_

_With that, I finally hurry up and move past the hotel room, my mind made up._

_There is no way I will ruin his career._


	54. Chapter 54

**And this is where it's freaky - this was written about a week or two before the whole thing happened. **

* * *

**54.**

Silence fills the hotel room as I replay the memory I have of that one night that changed everything. It takes a while for him to speak.

"You think my career is more important than you?"

I shake my head. "Now that I know that you love me, I'd say I'm about on the same level as your career. I know you love what you do and that you wouldn't trade it for the world. Your words," I smile. "And I just… I didn't want to be the one that caused you to ruin your career."

"What about the pictures?"

"Perfect timing," I reply. "They're fake, of course. The miracles of Photoshop these days. But they sure looked real and it was good enough excuse for me to use it as the reason why we couldn't be together anymore. I was actually a little grateful."

He shakes his head. "So I was right, you never did cheat on me."

I smile some more. "Thank you for your rock solid faith in me. That feels better than you could ever imagine."

"Always."


	55. Chapter 55

**55.**

We talk about a lot of things. We catch up on the weeks we missed. We discuss the awards show, and although it's a painful memory for both of us, we both admit to each other that we were trying to make it look like we were over each other. We were trying to make it look like moving on was easy.

In the mean time we were both hurting more than was ever necessary.

We also discuss our feelings, and we recognize that if we just would've told each other how we really felt and exchanged the three little words I love you sooner, a lot of the hurt of the past months would have been avoided.

Then we kiss and make up the way we do best.


	56. Chapter 56

**56.**

I wake up with a heavy arm around me, my favorite way in the world. The heavy scent of sex is still in the air and on the sheets and on me, so I decide to go ahead and use Edward's shower. I feel relaxed and happy, and I know we're going to be alright.

Then I hear the bathroom door open and not long after that a very naked Edward joins me underneath the spray.

"For a second I thought you were gone." His murmur sounds sad and relieved at once. My chest clenches.

"I'm sorry." I gently stroke his cheek.

We're silent for a moment while we wash each other's bodies. Nothing sexual is going on, it's all part of the reconnecting.

"We'll have to rebuild a lot of trust," I say.

He nods, his forehead resting against my shoulder.

_Glad we agree._


	57. Chapter 57

**57.**

"So, now what?" I ask as I'm fixing my hair into a bun while he's shaving his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Are we going to go public now?" My voice trembles a bit.

I've always kept my private life private and I've liked it that way. Edward has never had such boundaries and talked freely about everything and everyone. Never about me though. Perhaps we could keep that up?

"I don't want to hide. I am not ashamed of you, or us. I love you and I want to be with you for a very long time to come. I understand wanting privacy, I really do, but we chose this business. We are followed by paparazzi every day. Sooner or later they will find out, and I don't want to start with our relationship being scandal of sorts."

I nod, seeing his logic. I don't like it, but I understand. Being famous means a lot of pressure on everything. Everything you do, whether it's career wise or private life wise, fans, tabloids and other magazines will judge every step you take and they will form an opinion.

"Alright," I concede.


	58. Chapter 58

**58.**

"What is this?!" Angela smacks me with a magazine before dropping it in front of me. There, on the front page, is a picture of Edward and me meeting for coffee yesterday, holding hands and kissing and just being in love.

It's so obvious.

And I tell her that. "Can't you guess?"

"Does this mean you and Edward are back together?" Her voice has a careful tone to it.

I nod. "It sure does."

She grabs the magazine from my hands and smacks me again, making me laugh.

"Why did I have to read this in a damn tabloid? Why didn't you call me to tell me yourself? What happened?"

"Slow down, Angela. I will tell you everything." I laugh.


	59. Chapter 59

**One more to go, which I'll update tomorrow. **

* * *

**59.**

I can't remember the last time I've been this happy. Bella and I are just walking down the street, hand in hand. Pictures are being taken not just by paparazzi following us, but also by fans who spot us together. Flashes nearly blind me as I lean in for a kiss.

And I just don't care.

I'm so happy we're back together, I feel like we can handle anything the world can throw at us. Articles about cheating won't worry me anymore.

Because of where we're walking to.

We decided to let the car drop us off a couple of blocks away to give the world a chance to take a picture of this moment. The last couple of months they've been trying to get us to talk about our relationship. Every interview starts with questions about our relationship. We've agreed to let the pictures being taken all the time do the talking.

As we arrive at Tiffany's, flashes blind us once more.

I turn to address the group of people that have been following us for a while.

"I would like to request privacy as we enter this store. I assume you will understand."

I smile as we enter the store.


	60. Chapter 60

**60.**

We've decided to do one big interview together, to talk about everything that happened. After that, no more talking about our private lives or we have the right to walk away from the interview.

Surprisingly, everyone agreed to those terms.

So here we are, sitting on a couch at America's most famous talk show.

"So you let him believe you cheated on him?"

I shrug. "I had to do what I felt was best for him. I really am sorry for the hurt and pain it caused, but I can't take it back. And I won't, because it has made us stronger in the end and it lead us to where we are now."

The ring on my left hand sparkles in the lights, giving more meaning to that statement.

Edward gives me a quick kiss on the cheek the audience 'awww's. After that, the interview is over and everyone's insight in our private lives is too.

And I couldn't be happier.

* * *

**Well, this is it. Hope you all liked it!**

**Letters of a Killer will be finished soon. I have other stories in the works and plenty more ideas, but no real time line of when they'll start posting. If you're interested, put me on Author Alert!**


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